Like Bandits
by FullstopBlaster
Summary: Brains and Wheelie...are at it again. Wheelie X Brains "Making-out like bandits"


Like bandits

Post Dark Of the Moon

You'll understand the term Making-out like bandits when this is over.

Wheelie X Brains

One shot will not be continued

* * *

The water came down over us and it flooded the forward compartment. I'll be slagged if I said it wasn't fucking inconvenient. I couldn't speak but my comm worked just fine and after sending a signal to my main mech we made the choice to find a way out. We wiggled our way through the water and made our way to the open water before the weight of the ship pulls us down to far and the pressure crushes us into scrap.

The water is awful and I feel it in my systems. I hoped that Autobot medic had micro tools. I saw as much as felt Brains latch onto my arm, his leg in shambles, and we pulled one another up to the surface, going slow due to the fact we were swimming diagonally. To escape the pull of the massive ship, and to try to breach the surface away from anymore debris that was falling in our path through the water.

The surface, we don't need air, it's not necessary really, but our primary systems will over heat without a full complement of energon, and sense we've been running on fossil fuels for years, we've converted to cooling our systems with air. So we do need to get to the surface, but we have time, upwards of something like five frackin minutes.

The surface is broken slowly. "I hate that." He coughs water out his vents.

"Yeah mech I know." I reply as I begin to transmit a distress signal on the Autobot channel. "broadcast your signal on the Autobot frequency." I say and reach over to look his face over to make sure he's not so damaged.

Pushing my hand away Brains gave a curt nod at me as we found a piece of floating solid polymer armor from the ship and held onto it. I looked up to the shoreline of Chicago and looked at Brains just as his brow rose. "Humans?" I ask.

"Not sure." Brains responded softly. He hummed his confusion and I reached back and helped shove him up onto the small raft we'd found. And Primus alive this was really starting to suck. "Ups-ie daisies." He grabbed me and pulled me up onto to small raft and I nodded my thanks. I looked at his leg and sighed "This sucks." I said and knelt down over the strut and put my hands against it to hold it secure.

"Yeah you said it." I turned toward the shore "FUCKING RESCUE US!" I screamed and shook my head. "Gonna take hours…fleshbags." I nod and sit down, still holding brain's strut in my hands, hoping our homing beacon will work and summon our rescue.

* * *

Hours had passed an we had sat down back to back in some sort of bastardized recharge. We were torn from it by voices. "Wheelie?" I blink my optics open and look up slowly. "Ah good you're online." Ratchet says reaching down for me. I step up into his hand and nod. "I'll set you with Brains and we'll get you checked over."

I look up to see Carly beside the small human medical bed where we are placed side by side. "Are they okay?" she asks looking at me with concern.

"Why da you care?" I murmur vocalizer horse. I turn to Brains but he's still getting scanned by Ratchet. I put my hand on his shoulder and try to focus on Brains, I'm too concerned with him.

"Because you live with us." She said quietly.

"On the patio." I counter and turn away from her. "Under that plastic thing with the dog." He mutters. "Not that I don't like Bones." Brains nodded.

"I'll let you come inside now. I'm so sorry I didn't realize." I look at the woman coldly, an insult on the tip of my glossa, but it doesn't come, and I'm not sure why.

"Will Brain's be ok?" I ask Ratchet looking over Brain's helm to the medic.

"Yes he'll be fine." Ratchet nods. "And so will you." He responds softly. "Lets get you both to the NEST check in and we shall transport you back to D.C."

"If it's alright with you and Prime." I look at Brians who knows what I'm thinking. "We'll ride with Sam and Carly." I admit quietly. My attitude is usually a front, but I'm too tired to have it at my fore. "Please."

"Change your mind?"

"My stuffs back at your apartment." I say softly. "And you do pay our pet deposit." I crack.

I look at Carly who nods and reaches down lifting me up like I'm some fragging human infant. I look up at her and before I can say anything, I see the concern in her eyes as she watches the larger mech weld a spot on Brain's leg. "Will he be alright?" She asks.

"Yes." The doc gives a smile my way. "He needs to stay off his leg, for the next few days, but his self repair nanites should take over now that the main strut is welded." He turned. "I must go address Prime's wounds now." He said stiffening.

"I'll walk if you want to carry Brains." I say to her, I honestly would rather she carry him instead of me.

Carly nods and looks around. There's a dead human behind her flesh still smoking singed. She had food in her hands in two bags. Carly sets me down by Brains and I go to him putting my hand on his shoulder while she grabs one of the blue mesh bags and empties it out onto the ground. She returns to us and lays it out, moving brains into the bag she lifts it up over her arm like her purse. He's inside the bag but he can see out the mesh holes. She turns lifting me back up in her arms. "Carly?"

She turns to face me. "Yes Wheelie."

I smirk. "Eh..you know my name." I laugh slightly. "That's new." I laugh again and put my hand behind my head. "Thank you." I nod. I don't think I've ever said it and meant it. It's so fucking hard to say without getting; all emotional.

"You're welcome." She says softly.

I turn my head seeing Sam walk toward us; Prime is behind him with Ratchet protesting. I want to laugh, Prime keeps shoving the Doc off, and he's still walking around with one arm. "Wheelie and Brains." I shift to look up at him and look back at Brains who looks at Prime through the mesh. "You both fought bravely, bringing down a Decepticon vessel was not an easy task." He continues. "You shall be commended." He nodded slowly.

"Prime please sit." Ratchet sighed. "You can talk while I weld." He shook his helm and it made me laugh.

"Ah Prime we like it here." Brains said below me.

"Yeah Sam and Carly…we'll all…" I look at Carly not sure how to finish.

Carly smiles as she hands me off to Sam. "We're family." She says softly and pulls the bag up to hold brains in her hands but still in the mesh. Her hands go through his hair tendrils and I smirk.

"Yeah Boss bot." I nod "Home is where the Spark is."

Optimus gives a low nod. "I could not agree more."

I sigh. "What about the dead?" I ask softly. "Skids and Mudflap." I pause. "Ironhide." Its hard to say their names, Ironhide had been mad at me for an unresolved prank, and Skids and Mudflap had been our friends, me and Brains.

The names stiffen their backs, Ratchet and Prime, and they give a pause to the ordeal. "They will be remembered like those who came before…." Optimus' optics pitch from me to the heavens above us. "They have joined the well….and we shall see them again."

"Primus willing." We all said at the same time.

Carly smiled at me as Sam turned me to face him. "Who's Primus?"

I laugh. "Kid you get us home, get us a couple of bowls of nuts and screws and you'll get yourself some Popcorn and we'll tell you the slagging best story you've ever heard." I nod.

"Wheelie language." Ratchet says from the side.

I wave a hand at him. "Shove it out your exhaust Grouch ker bot." I smirk and look at Optimus with a smile. "By the way …the wreckers are assholes."

"Yeah left us in the street!" Brains said from Carly's arms. "Just like bait for Shockwave." He nods and I point to him to say he's got a point. "Fire those after burners."

Sam laughs at us and turns to Lennox. "We gotta place we're all holing up for now?"

Lennox nodded and looked over to the west. "We're headed to the airport, most of the ground teams will be flown out tonight, Autobots first, but their transports are still an hour out."

I nod. "We'll wait." I turn to see Ratchet looking at me.

"You." He murmurs. "I need you assistance."

I look at Sam and nod. He sets me down and I sake over to Prime and into the waiting palm of doctor death. "What we doing?"

Ratchet lifts me to what remains of the Prime's shoulder. "There's shrapnel there….just inside the joint, can you clear it for me?" The medic asks.

I look down "Yeah…sorry if this hurts boss." Optimus nods slowly but doesn't speak as I kneel into his armor and begin to pull the lodged pieces of metal out tossing them into a metal tray Ratchet is holding up for me. "Slag Optimus what did you do….eat megatron…he's all over in here." I pull up in my hand what appears to be an optic. "Gross." I make a face and drop the eye into the pan.

* * *

Sitting on the couch I lifted the remote and pressed the button again. "Hey SAM! The Apple TV is screwing up again."

Carly appeared in the doorway. "It's not the TV it's the Internet Wheelie, it's still down." She shrugged. "Watch a DVD or something." She smiles at me before leaving the room.

"Women." Brains murmurs. "can't do nothing with the bitches."

"You said it brother." I nod.

"Excuse me?" Carly looks down over the back of the couch. We jump, and smile up at her.

"Uh I mean not you; hot fleshy, you're my favorite." He turns to sand and look at her. "Saved me carried me off the battlefield."

"Don't you forget it." She says. "Come on Bones." She calls grabbing the leash to take out the dog. "Let's go boy."

I look up, once she's gone, and grab Brains pulling him down beside me. "Just be glad we're safe." I murmur to him softly. "If you ever fucking scare me like that again I'll kill you myself."

His smile lights my spark and I push him slightly. "I got ya, but ya know you were there too." He says "being just as stupid."

I laugh. "Allegedly." I point. "Allegedly you can't prove nothing." I smirk as he moves to straddle my lap. I run my servos over his frame and smile at him. "Thanks for staying alive for me." I murmur softly our hands grasping each others.

"Yeah don't want you being all pissy without me." He laughs and I waggle my brow plates.

He leans in licking his glossa along my neck cables. I consider this proposition with a dip of a head. "Ah the fucking things you do to me." I smirk up at him and he kisses me, for a moment I allow it before I reach back pulling him toward me. "My Spark does this double round flip thing…hurts like hell in a good way." I nod. "Do it again…kiss me."

He laughs at me for a moment and reaches between the seams in the tires behind my head and I groan. He spreads em slightly and runs his fingers through the treads. "That's nice." I murmur and his lips seal against my own.

"Like that?" He asks.

"Yeah do it some slagging more." I say softly with my optics offline, head rolling back.

The sound of glass breaking. "OH HELL NO!" Sam is standing in the door way and staring straight at us. "GOD! It's like watching a TOASTER AND THE MICROWAVE DO IT!" He is livid, and we break apart., though Brains is still sitting on my lap.

"Sammy Calm down." I push Brains off me. "Get off." I mutter and stand. "Look we thought we were alone!" I shake my head jumping down.

"You don't have to do it on my couch!" He growls. "Robot sex?" His eyes are huge. "Who was gonna tell me you guys have robot sex!"

"Where do you think robot babies come from!" I growl at him.

"Oh that's it…" He comes toward us.

"I won't appologise for it!" I yell standing. "You two do it up stairs and we have to listen to it!" I growl my voice going high. "Oh Sammy yes yes!" I mimic carly. "Want me to play the sound file?" I growl. "I got tons of em."

"That's it!" Sam grabs his phone pointing at me. "You two are gone!" He screams at me as Carly comes back with Bones.

"What is going on!" She asks. "SAM!" She points at me. "Don't move." She orders us and I shrug looking back at Brains.

"I don't want to live at nest." Brains says down from the top of the couch. I look up at him and nod. "they just don't understand Wheels. Sideswipe…grade A asshole!" He says to me.

"I know, but yeah…maybe that Simmons guy will let us live with him." I offer. "I don't want to go to nest either." I reach up jumping up to the top of the couch. "We're just in the way, and last time Ratch almost stepped on us."

"Ratchet is coming to pick you up." Carly says coming inside to sit on the couch beside brains who instinctively goes into her lap. "Look Bumblebee said that Optimus would talk with Sam. That it's not something they told your people about your …relationships." She pets through Brain's hair and I jump down beside them.

"Yeah well it's kinda new to us too." I mutter.

"We didn't merge …or …overheat…" Brains says almost shyly.

"Merge what's that?" She asked as something flickered to life in the corner. A human sized Ratchet hologram.

"Come along you two." He said calmly. "I'm down stairs…Transform and allow Carly to load you into my cab."

Carly looked up at him. "What's going to happen to them?" She asked as the green and white mech's hologram walked toward us.

"Nothing." He said much to my surprise. "They are old enough, and it would be akin to a police officer catching you and Samuel having intercourse in the park. It would not be the appropriate time or place. The act could not be punished." He looks directly at me. "Just the choice of time."

I raise my hand. "We didn't do anything!" I protest.

"Please transform." He says to Brains. "Carly please load them into my cab." The hologram fizzles away and I shake my head.

"For the love of Primus." I mutter and point at Carly as she lifts up Brains as he's already transformed putting him under her arm. "Now make sure Bone's has water…cause I do that ya know." She nods at me. "And his blanket he needs that." I say. I'd never admit it but I love that dog. "Be good." I point at Bones and he doesn't move just looks at me. With a sigh and a headshake I transform and wait for Carly to pick me up.

* * *

We sit in the front of Ratchet on his passenger side. We're sharing the same seat belt and can't see over the dash but we sit. He hasn't said anything to us thankfully. I don't feel like talking to him right now anyway.

"Tired." Brains murmurs leaning against me. I raise my arm and put it around him. "Recharge." I say softly. "Got twenty more minutes til we get there." I press my helm to his and let my systems lull down too, but my optics stay open and I just sit through the ride.

"Wheelie?" Ratchet asks.

"Yeah Doc?" I turn my head.

"You're not in trouble." He murmurs.

I nod full well knowing his sensors can read me in his cab. "I know that, but I don't know what we're supposed do." I explain. "We can't live with you …we can't live alone, and we can't live with the humans." I toss my free hand up. "Crap shoot is what it is." I say.

"Well you'll be staying with Optimus for the time being." He explains.

"Why the big guy?" I ask.

"He's still healing from his injuries, you could be of great service to our Prime." He says softly.

"Ah all right I'll think about it." I mutter and lean back down over brains.

"Are you happy you found one another?" Ratchet asks.

"You ask that like we knew each other before the exodus." I jab. "I am happy he's with me." I say softly. "It was hard being the only micro-bot around."

"It is understandable." Ratchet says softly his wheel turning as he slows. "Ratchet." He speaks and the gates open allowing him access to the underground base of operations that Nest had provided the Autobots. I shake Brains awake as we enter the hanger. From our vantage I know we're in a building even if I can't see over the dash. Ratchet unlatches the belt from the inside and we stand up to peer over the dash. "Whoah…new landfalls?" I ask.

"Yes." Ratchet's door opens. "Out you get." He says and we jump down to the concrete.

"Hey look!" Sideswipe, I groan internally. "The two who brought down the gun ship, nice work." He smiles and passes us. Which is quite new, he was one of the reasons we moved in with Sam in the first place.

Ratchet stiffens beside us as he transforms and looks down. "Prime is this way." He says motioning us with him. We move slowly to the back where Ratchet pulls back a large tarp. We move into the room of the base that's been cordoned off.

Optimus sits in the yellow Chair like stand that Sentinel had been put on. Now I'll be honest and let you know I didn't see Prime raise the old guy, but I have seen this chair, it's a modified medical berth.

Optimus looks at us both. "Samuel is displeased with you both."

"Yeah we know." Brains kicks a stray screw to the left and I look up at Prime.

"Look I'm not sorry." I say firmly. "I'm not."

Optimus nods slowly and opens hi palm. I make a hand at Brains and he remains behind me an I move to the Prime scaling his leg to move up to his palm. "I love em." I say once I'm standing facing the Prime at his level.

"I have no doubt in that." He says softly. "I will explain our races interactions to the humans. That said, Samuel will not permit you back at the moment." I shake my head.

"That's just fucking great." I mutter.

"Wheelie." Ratchet shakes his helm chastising from Prime's side.

"Look I'm not sorry, and fuck if I give a care what anyone thinks." I say softly. "Brains and me, you can't take this away from us." I state a finger pointing down.

Optimus smile at me. "What?" I demand.

"You're very passionate." He smiles down at me and my anger ebbs slightly. "There is no reason you should not be able to go home with Samuel once we speak to both him and Carly." He nods to a large berth in the corner. "You will stay with me for now." He says softly.

"Awesome…." Brains nods. "Got anything ta eat?"

Ratchet sighed. "I'll go grab the spare screw and bolt canister." He pat's Prime's shoulder and moves to the door. "That should subdue their feverish hunger."

I look up at Prime. "Thanks boss." I nod.

"You are Autobots….no matter what any of the others may say of your previous affiliation." He drawls.

"Prime you don't have to say that." I wave a hand.

"I do….because it's something you both need to hear." He smiles down and my vision tracks with his to see Brains crawling up into his palm beside me. "You are Autobots." He says again. "And we are honored to have you in our ranks."

I raise my hand as if to break the tension. "Any chance I could get a fucking raise?" I laugh softly and smirk as Prime smiles. I'm glad he can still do so. I look to his left and note the empty berth.

To his right is another it holds a decepticon body that shifts marginally. "Th-th-th-that's Starscream." I blink.

Optimus nods and turns his head. The body is stiffens before stilling. "He's blind, and deaf." Optimus sighs out his vents and I feel the hot air. "For the moment." He admits, and I shake my head.

"If that ever happens to me Prime." I look at him "You'll kill me right?"

Brains takes my servo into his own and shakes his head. "Never." He answers for the both of them, and we stand there in silent shock of what's before us.


End file.
